Footprints

"Lord, during the most troubled times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He replied, "Because I don't really exist. And by the way, the Bible is full of interesting and useful stories...why'd you have to make up something that sounds like a second-rate Hallmark card?"

Congregation, be seated.

In this festive time of year, it is worth remembering what the spirit of Christmas is all about.

I don't actually remember when I found out that Santa didn't really exist. I do remember that my fellow children, those wonderful precious little ideals of faith and innocence and purity, kept trying to reveal it to me in order to revel in my shock and sadness. Unfortunately for them, I'd already known the truth- probably before those nasty little bastards did. I just didn't think it was amusing to let others in on it. I'm not saying this just to blow my own perceptive horn, but I can't remember a time when I didn't fully realize that my parents bought the gifts. The only real mystery of Christmas was where they hid them beforehand.

I understand that adults feel that at least half of the spirit of Christmas comes from getting little kids to believe lies. I realize that most adults are so cynical and world-weary that the easy excitability of children is one of the few ways that they can still get a thrill out of living. Christmas is like little league; parents are mainly rewarded by the vicarious experience. What's the harm in a few white lies, especially when they result in so much genuine joy and wonder?

...and greed, and selfishness, and materialism, of course. Christmas is a perfect introductory course in consumerism. Children are usually pretty susceptible to these temptations to begin with; despite the achingly heartwarming scenes of little girls sharing ice cream cones and little boys befriending outcasts, children are extremely self-centered by nature. They want everything that they can get their hands on, they want it all for themselves, and they're not usually too concerned with how the getting of it it makes other people feel. It's pretty easy to manipulate people who have such naked and simple desires.

So adults manipulate them. In two very similar ways.

The first is the most basic one: if you're good, you get stuff. Christmas is a sort of year-end bonanza, but works on the same principles as "do your chores, get your allowance."

This is essential groundwork for becoming a productive wage-earner, indispensable propaganda for a consumer society. You get what you want only if you do what is expected, if you prove your worth and usefulness to the people who have control of the goodies. It's also good to learn when it makes a difference and when it doesn't (also known as "cost-benefit analysis"). Kids learn pretty quick that they won't get credit for unobserved good behavior, and that parents will often reward thoughtless, effortless good behavior just as well as the most extreme examples of restraint and effort.

(One might call this sort of thing "teaching responsibility"...but if that's the case, then my dog is showing admirable responsibility when he waits eagerly at the kitchen door while I'm cooking, hoping that I'll drop something yummy.)


The other sort of manipulation is moral, ethical, and more subtle. By reinforcing the "season of getting presents" with things like family, love, friendship, kindness, charity, togetherness, faith, et cetera, kids are being subtly or overtly motivated to make connections between these things.

Overtly, it resembles the consumer motivation discussed above. If you're good, good stuff will happen. Santa knows if you've been bad or good, and he'll reward you accordingly. If you're too old for Santa, God will take over that role. If you're too Eastern or New Age for "god", maybe "karma" will do the trick. However you want to say it, there's a powerful and perhaps even natural desire for us to believe that our positive actions will have positive consequences (and that the opposite is just as true).

My best guess is that "enlightened people" and authority figures throughout history learned from the parental role. They decided that many or most people were like children and needed either outright lies or more subtle motivations in order to be part of a peaceful, orderly, benevolent and/or productive society. Additionally, individuals have always needed the comfort of an easy-to-understand cause-and-effect relationship; it's all too easy to lose sight of a goal and conclude that the effort is unwarranted.

I'm not willing to conclude that this is a good or bad thing. Certainly human beings have benefitted from these lies in countless ways throughout our history. I am indeed tempted to agree that many (most?) people just aren't reasonable and intelligent enough to be depended upon to do the right thing. We're all so much more like animals, and children, than we'd like to believe.

However, I do resent being lied to...and I resent others assuming that they know what is best. I'm willing to concede that I don't always know what is best for me. On the other hand, I must seriously question any human agency that has decided what is best for me, and implemented a program of behavior modification, without my knowledge and against my will. This goes for any of the self-styled parents of the human species (religions, governments, the 'wise' or the 'practical', defenders of market forces and evolutionary tendencies, or any other of the myriad of self-appointed illuminati who operate on the Father Knows Best principle).


What is really nice about Christmas is that people are at least a little more likely to be kind, thoughtful, generous, and willing to enjoy themselves and each other.

The religious will try to appropriate the season. They will tell you that all good things derive from some mythical figure, and human beings are not ultimately responsible for their own actions, and that simple happiness and togetherness should always be polluted by thoughts of subservience and sacrifice. They will try to ignore the fact that the winter celebration is common to pretty much every culture and precedes Christianity by thousands of years...and also conveniently ignore the fact that most evidence suggests that the historical Jesus was probably born in the summer anyway. Christians stole the season to make it work with their mythology; their attempt to steal the potential and responsibility for happiness and kindness goes on. All you ever need to do to be free of religion is show that you can be a good person without it. Is that too much to ask of adult human beings?

The capitalists will try to appropriate the season. They will tell you that pragmatic adults realize that Christmas is all about buying and selling. They will encourage you to fall prey to the numerous hysterias that have become part of the traditional holiday season. Generosity is best demonstrated by spending more than you can afford- you're giving to your loved ones, the stores, the creditors, the economy itself. Capitalism is indeed the gift that keeps on giving. Everything about the holiday season is better when you spend more, and there is no tradition so beloved that it can't be used for an ad campaign or product line. If you can't beat holiday stress by getting everything on your gift list, you can mute it with anti-depressants and costly therapy. Over-indulgence itself is an investment- the more cookies you eat, the better the health clubs will do come January. It's all part of the wonderful cycle of money. It's all part of the traditional Christmas celebration- the way it should be, and it's always been like this, right? Well, for the last few decades, anyway..."traditional" often means only as far back as you can remember. It's almost unthinkable that this consumer-driven holiday economy idea is completely a creation of the latter half of the last century. It really doesn't have to be this way, you know. You don't have to buy love and happiness and togetherness...do you?

I guess it's all about whether we've really grown up or are still simply pretending. If you've simply traded Santa for Jesus, and obsessing over buying things rather than getting things, then you're just a child in an adult's clothes. I know childhood is a wonderful time and all that, but the world does not get better when we all spend our adult lives acting more and more like children. The world is often a pretty tough place, and we need holidays to remind us that we can be make it better, for each other. It doesn't take much thought to understand why- it certainly doesn't take a fictional mythology or a labored economic rationalization.