I was talking with Grandfather Hogan. Something in my speech or manner caused him to observe that I took after my grandmother, and he gave me the impression that I'd see for myself soon enough. As if we were going to join her -- possibly in the next room, possibly outside the house (but not far).
That's it for the narrative. There aren't any other specific details, though the vague scene can be described:
Either there was daylight outside and the shades were all drawn, or this took place during nighttime and there weren't many lights on in the house. The room seemed lived-in but sparsely furnished, as if the residents had been expecting a number of visitors and had rearranged the furnishings to make extra space.
Perhaps the environment was inspired by my grandfather's actual house, which I do remember visiting at least once, though after he was no longer living there. Or it may have been another relative's home, or one of the many homes of family or family friends that I've visited and mostly forgotten.
I vaguely recall the dusty, dated, mostly inexpensive, and borderline-tasteful decor of a family's home many years after the children have gone...not too different from a sitting room at a small-town funeral home.
Of course, I can't help associating the dream with death, and it does sound like a premonition. After all, my grandparents are all dead (both of my grandmothers had died before I was born). The idea of Grandfather Hogan taking me to meet my grandmother especially stands out in my mind. In retrospect, you could easily interpret his role as my 'contact' or 'guide' from this world to the next.
I was on the phone with my mother last night and told her about the dream. She told me that I was fascinated with her father when I was a toddler (he died when I was about five or six years old, I think). He'd have conversations with me -- more or less one-sided; he'd be talking as if I was an adult, and I would just be staring at him, and sometimes seemingly laughing in response.
Still, he seems a strange choice for a guide -- why not a more familiar person? My brother, my sister, one of the aunts or uncles even, anyone whom I'd known more during my later life. I doubt I'd even recognize Grandfather Hogan if I saw him (of course, there was no lack of recognition in the dream, but that's how dreams are).
I have to emphasize, however, that the dream did not feel like a 'death dream'. Obviously, it was a place that I didn't know well, and I've never been fully at ease around any of my family members (or anyone at all, with the occasional exception of my wife). However, there was nothing eerie or supernatural about the dream, and no trace of dread or loss.
If anything, it seemed like a fairly mundane situation -- as if I'd stopped by to visit. The only emotion that I recall was my interest and curiosity at meeting my grandmother, who I'd heard so much about all my life.
So if I do happen to die soon, the dream was an omen. If I don't, it was just an unexpected and slightly touching dream about two people whom I wish I'd known better. The dream may very well be the closest that I get to experiencing the kind of afterlife that many people believe and expect.
No comments:
Post a Comment